We got served... some tea and crumpets

I've been watching America's Got Talent and I'm embarrassed. First, because I am watching it at all, that is indeed embarrassing. But even worse than that is we are putting forward a pretty sad group of talent. So far the best act has been a singing ventriloquist. It could only get worse if we got a world class mime (although they are probably waiting for France's Got Talent). We've also got people on stilts, a Boy Shakira, and a number of middling singers. Here you are America, your best and brightest.

We may have beaten Britain in the Revolution but they are kicking our ass when it comes to talent. We have more that five times the people in America than in the UK but less talent (not only in raw talent are we losing, the talent per capita is hugely in there favor-- and you thought it was sad to read the education statistics). Take away Paul Potts and Connie Talbot (who both put the US singers so far to shame) and the Brits are still winning.

What makes matters even worse is the best judge is British-- not only do they have the better talent, they have the better critics as well. David Hasselhoff needs to look up the word 'hyperbole' so he'll stop thinking every mediocre act in the world is the second coming. Sharon has us wishing for the halcyon days of Brandy as the female representation at the judges table. Piers is honest and, while it may appear abrasive and mean you've got to remember that (a) he is British and (b) he was a judge on the British version so he's seen a lot better and now has had to suffer through the same thing us viewers have, so his attitude is understandable.

While I am on the judges, they need to add a little variation to there stock phrases. They like to say that "you are what this show is all about" to about half the acts. Look, it can't be all about 34 very different acts. Yes, we realize that Americans are suckers for kids, old people, and animals (just go back and watch any episode of America's Funniest Home Videos) but it can't be all about all the people all the time (but it can be all about some of the people all of the time, and all about all the people some of the time or so Abraham Lincoln thought).

Also, when someone brings David a dictionary to look up 'hyperbole' they can also bring a thesaurus so the judges can use a phrase other than '100% yes' (aside from the occasional and impossible '1,000% yes'). How about an 'emphatic yes', or a 'wholehearted yes', or an 'unequivocal yes' just to list a few. You don't need to dumb it down for the audience (although those education statistics are still depressing)... but then again, the judges may just be speaking at their usual New York Post level... except of course the Brit.