I don't trust anyone who says they have no regrets in life. To me this means either they haven't really examined their life and their choices or they are lying. The former is willfully ignorant and the latter is, well, a liar. We all have them and all have to deal with them, whether or not we want to admit it to ourselves or to others.
Regrets usually come in one of two very basic flavors:
- I didn't do X but I should have
- I did X but I shouldn't have
The vast majority of my regrets are of the first variety and unfortunately I think that it is the worse category. It essentially means that you didn't take a risk-- you wanted to do but you couldn't bring yourself to do it out of fear or doubt. It is the coward's regret. Granted, the regrets of type 2 can be incredibly short lived as you are much more likely to die a quick and spectacular death if you choose to take a stupid risk (especially if alcohol or some other drug is involved). But at least you go out in a blaze of glory that way.
I recently took care of one of my type 1 regrets. It turned out exactly as I expected... and exactly the opposite of how I hoped. Reality has a way of getting in the way of things all too often. Ironically, the resolution of my type 1 regret has formed a new type 2 regret. But at least it isn't a coward's regret anymore, it is a hero's regret... and while that makes it sound better, it doesn't make it feel any better.
1 comment:
If you don't already know it, you might enjoy Ogden Nash's "Portrait of the Artist as a Prematurely Old Man," a poem that humorously examines the two regrets (or "sins," as he calls them) that you outline. He also comes to the same conclusion you do. I have a recording of Nash reading it, if you want to hear it.
Way to keep us hanging on what #1 you fulfilled to bring about a #2 regret!
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