Poetry Night III

It has been a while, but poetry night is back. I'm sure everyone has been praying that this come back, so here it is.

Apparently, I wasn't accurate in my first poetry night post as I said that was the oldest poem I had written but I was wrong. I don't know why I said that because I had the following one then. This one dates a full year earlier than the first, all the way to 9th grade English class. (I know I have two older poems somewhere-- one titled "Unlucky Day" from that same year and one from 6th grade when I wrote a poem about the Norman Invasion of England... yes, I was a weird kid).

This one is untitled.

He looked for a place to escape or somewhere to run
But, alas, to his dismay he found there was none
Even so, he waited for a chance to flee
for if he did not escape, he knew he would be
dead in a moment, killed by the madman's knife
Although the outcome looked bleak, he prayed for his life

The guards pushed him forward into a small cramped room
the approaching footsteps sounded impending doom
his future killer stood near him with a dagger at the ready
he tried to fight or to struggle but the guards held him steady
The assassin grinned evilly as the knife began to rise
he could do nothing but stand there with tears in his eyes

the dagger flashed down and cracked into his spine...
The next day there was a special, fresh hamburger meat $2.29

A scathing look at the meat industry, isn't it? It was written from a cow's point of view going to the slaughter. Now I am not a vegetarian but one of my friends at the time was. I remember have a discussion about eating meat and other related things and it inspired me to write the preceding poem (that and the assignment that was given in class-- inspiration combined with a deadline is the situation under which I can create the most).

Mr. S, my English teacher that year, was a bit of a douche. First of all, when reading this poem to the class he totally blew the last line. Obviously, the poem is written in rhyming couplets, and as such the end of last line should be read as "fresh hamburger meat two twenty nine". He instead read it as "fresh hamburger meat two dollars and twenty nine cents". Any English teacher worth his salt should have realized that reading the line like that would kill both the rhyme scheme and the meter (as loose as the meter was... his version still just sounds stupid).

Of course, that just goes to show he was an idiot, not a douche. But he also was a douche-- he would insert smug statements in the middle of class for no reason (e.g. "Oh, I live in a much richer neighborhood than any of you" which even if true, and that is debatable, is still a pathetic thing to claim over the students in your class). He also would make fun of the students, and as usual I was one of the few who would stand up to him. I told him to shut up once while he was insulting me-- apparently, he thought it was OK to make fun of his students and not for them to fight back in any way.

You may just say that I was a stupid kid and he probably wasn't that bad. But even the other teachers agreed. My friend (the one who inspired the poem) and I were in the teacher's office area talking to our senior year teacher when Mr. S came over and said something stupid that I don't remember. As soon as he walked away our much cooler teacher said, "He is such a prick."

OK, so I wrote more about my 9th grade English teacher than the poem, but I think that was much more interesting anyway (plus, I pretty much said everything there is about the poem....).

One skip ahead of my doom

One day in 11th grade English, a bunch of friends and I decided to give each other nicknames (and when I say nicknames, it is loosely, as they were more like pseudonyms). Why we did this, I don't remember the reason. It could be that there was a substitute that day. It could be. perhaps, that we were bored and did what we may. But I think the most likely reason of all may have been that we were geeks. The ones I remember are:

David Phezzic Marselle: This one was mine. A few people thought I had a sense of humor similar to David Letterman, hence the David. "The Princess Bride" was, and still is, my favorite movie and I took the name of the "hippopotamic land mass". I thought it funny that I, a "five foot nothing, a hundred and nothing" kid, would choose the colossus' name as part of my pseudonym. Plus, I didn't think I was cool enough to pull off Westley or the Dread Pirate Roberts. (And yes, I realize that the character is spelled Fezzik in the movie but I thought the 'Ph' and 'c' were cooler... see the aforementioned geek comment). The surname comes from the name of Ross' monkey on "Friends" (yes, again, I know the spelling is different, but it is a homophone so leave me alone-- I like the look of my version better as it seems more like a surname than Marcel). For some reason, I was a big fan of Marcel. A big enough fan to take the name of a monkey as the most important part of my fictional name. Lieben meine affe-monkey!

I had always thought this would be a good nom de plume, so if I ever do write a novel it may very well be published under the name David P. Marselle. Keep an eye out for it.

Patty the Monkey: The astute "Friends" fan doesn't need any help on this one. In the episode where Mr. Heckles, the downstairs neighbor of Monica and Rachel, ends up with Marcel, he dresses him up in a dress and calls him "Patty the monkey". I wasn't the only person who had a weird obsession with Marcel; she even took his short lived cross-dressing name which was a more dedicated obsession than mine.

Wesley Trevor Harrison: I don't really remember why he chose, or was given, Wesley and Trevor. I think he just liked the sounds of the name. The last name was a homage to one of the two presidents we had with that name. I'm not sure if it was for William Henry, "the Pneumatic one-month wonder", or Benjamin, "The Other One". I'm pretty sure it was for the former, but it has been over ten years (so excuse me if I am a little foggy). He reads the blog so maybe he can comment and shed some more light on this one.

Gail Hortense Spadowksi: She cheated a bit and already had been given this pseudonym by a boyfriend. Naturally, I have no idea into the etymology of it... but the fact that he came up with it does give some insight into why that relationship was short lived.

Humperdink Tiddlywink: Another "Princess Bride" homage followed by a rhyming nonsense word (yes, I know it is a game but one that no one in my generation ever played it so for all intents and purposes it was nonsense to us). Of all the nicknames giving out that day, this one fit the person the most: crazy, entertaining, fun, and poetic.

Gary Indiana: I came up with this gem. I thought he looked like a Gary and thanks to my mom whenever I hear that name the homonymous song from the Music Man starts playing in my head. Now I have never seen the Music Man or even heard the whole song, just the refrain. My mom (and if any of my mom's brothers and sisters were around) would sing just the lines "Gary, Indiana" over and over. She'd never move on to another part of the song, I'm not even sure if they knew the rest of the song, she'd just repeat that line. It was one of the songs my mother would sing that my siblings and I would, on occasion, beg her to stop. Once I thought he looked like a Gary my Pavlovian response kicked in and I suggested this name and it was accepted by the crowd (I know why I suggested it but I don't know why they accepted it, because without the back story it is just stupid... maybe the Music Man was more popular than I thought).

Mark My Words: Another one I came up with. He looked like a Mark to me. So I just suggested this clichéd expression. Wasn't I clever? Yes, I was.

There might have been a few more, but those have long ago disappeared in the ether from my memory. Perhaps some of my classmates remember the couple I have forgotten. The funny thing is we spent the whole class coming up with these stupid names and never really used them. It is only due to my freakish memory when it comes to completely trivial things that I remember these at all. This could lead one to ask, why bother posting about names that were invented and ignored in the span of 44 minutes and haven't been used in over 10 years? It is stuff that in my brain so I might as well use it for something and I find it interesting... and don't you ever question David P. Marselle again.