Surprisingly, America actually picked the correct winners of the latest two reality shows:
On 'On The Lot' Will took home the top prize and now has a deal with Dreamworks to direct a movie. I was scared that somehow Jason might win the show because for some reason people seemed to like his movies. He was my least favorite person on that show and yet he stuck around. Thankfully, the best man won. (If you have no idea what this show is/was, that is OK. Apparently, looking at the ratings, I was among only 7 people who watched the show).
Also, the Ventriloquist won and deserved it. I never thought I'd say a sentence like that. But He was far and away the best person on America's Got Talent (and I said he was the best act back on June 27th here).
On another reality front, Last Comic Standing has their top 5 perform. I think Gerry Dee has the best set, with Amy Schumer next, then Ralph Harris. Lavell Crawford had a weak set and I was a bit surprised by that (I think he is safe as he has been very strong the rest of the way). But, totally expected, John Reep failed to impress again. I'd guess he is the one going home.
Having said all that, I can't wait for the real TV season to start again... so tired of reality competitions. Please, give me a scripted show!
Thursday, August 23, 2007
Friday, August 3, 2007
Quick Hits
After downing two sodas and a glass of water, I had to pee. I went down to the restaurant's bathroom to do just that. The bathroom was so small I had a hard time fitting in (and while I've gained a couple of pounds recently-- now tipping the scales at a relative hefty 153-- I am not large at all). As I was going about my business, something landed on the back of my neck and I reacted with one of those full body spasms, which normally isn't that bad but while one is peeing it is best not to do that. Needless to say, I wasn't able to "stay within the lines" and, since the bathroom was so small, managed to hit three walls in a beautiful arc of urine. The mosquito that landed on my was humongous so I don't feel bad about the freak out. Plus I did get a good laugh out of it-- timing is everything in comedy and that mosquito is a natural.
I was on the 6 train on the way home from the above restaurant. Across from me sat a man reading a book. He was falling asleep doing the classic head bob and was out in a few seconds. But amazingly the book stayed in the exact same position-- all the time as his head sunk lower and lower. A woman standing next to him thought this was hilarious and pointed it out to her traveling companions (I must admit it was pretty funny). The best part was when she said, in a reverent tone, "He's got the perfect hold, doesn't he?" as if holding a book perfectly still while sleeping was one of her life goals and she was jealous that he had done it before her.
When the train stopped he jerked awake (although again amazingly his hands and the book never moved at all) and proceeded to attempt to continue reading where he left off. As soon as the train started moving he was out again. His head bobbed up and down but his book never wavered an inch the entire time... its the pointless things that impress me.
The woman from the last story, after standing for a few stops, moved towards a newly vacated seat. The person that was sitting there, not noticing that someone was moving towards the empty seat, did the natural spread out maneuver so as to not be squished when not necessary. She did not appreciate the move and yelled, "Mexican, move over!" at the man sitting there. The Mexican obliged with contemptuous glare and the woman collapsed in the seat while complaining about her hard day and how Mexicans shouldn't be stealing her seat. Where has common courtesy gone? She really should have said, "Mexican, move over please."
I found a roach in my apartment, that greatest of all "Welcome to New York"s. I grabbed the nearest spray bottled and attacked-- Lemon Pledge did nothing to it. I took another and tried again. The roach went insane, spasming and flopping around, and died in about 4 seconds. I looked in my hand-- Simply Green. Yes, the cleaner that is "non-toxic, biodegradable, environmentally safer" and "safer around your children and your pets" totally fucks up the only animal that can survive a nuclear blast.
I was on the 6 train on the way home from the above restaurant. Across from me sat a man reading a book. He was falling asleep doing the classic head bob and was out in a few seconds. But amazingly the book stayed in the exact same position-- all the time as his head sunk lower and lower. A woman standing next to him thought this was hilarious and pointed it out to her traveling companions (I must admit it was pretty funny). The best part was when she said, in a reverent tone, "He's got the perfect hold, doesn't he?" as if holding a book perfectly still while sleeping was one of her life goals and she was jealous that he had done it before her.
When the train stopped he jerked awake (although again amazingly his hands and the book never moved at all) and proceeded to attempt to continue reading where he left off. As soon as the train started moving he was out again. His head bobbed up and down but his book never wavered an inch the entire time... its the pointless things that impress me.
The woman from the last story, after standing for a few stops, moved towards a newly vacated seat. The person that was sitting there, not noticing that someone was moving towards the empty seat, did the natural spread out maneuver so as to not be squished when not necessary. She did not appreciate the move and yelled, "Mexican, move over!" at the man sitting there. The Mexican obliged with contemptuous glare and the woman collapsed in the seat while complaining about her hard day and how Mexicans shouldn't be stealing her seat. Where has common courtesy gone? She really should have said, "Mexican, move over please."
I found a roach in my apartment, that greatest of all "Welcome to New York"s. I grabbed the nearest spray bottled and attacked-- Lemon Pledge did nothing to it. I took another and tried again. The roach went insane, spasming and flopping around, and died in about 4 seconds. I looked in my hand-- Simply Green. Yes, the cleaner that is "non-toxic, biodegradable, environmentally safer" and "safer around your children and your pets" totally fucks up the only animal that can survive a nuclear blast.
Wednesday, August 1, 2007
Set course for terror... Engage!
I had a nightmare the other night for the first time in a very, very long time. I can't even remember the last time I had one before this last one, but I was probably in Elementary school.
I don't often remember my dreams. Sometimes I'll go months without recalling any of them and even when I do remember the dreams it is only a few major points and a detail or two. And it was like that for this latest one as well.
The dream started with me in jail and the story up to then was told in flashbacks (like I was in a movie or something). The flashbacks are a little blurry but in them I saw a female friend of mine murder two people (I'm not sure who the friend was but, as often happens in my dreams, I knew it was a friend but I couldn't really see her. Also I have no idea who she killed or why.).
But I was the one in jail and not this person-- although it was for some other crime and I was pretty sure related to the murders. Regardless, I was in jail. This is where the nightmare part comes in-- I knew I could turn this other person in but it wouldn't improve my situation any. I was overcome with a complete helplessness and despair the likes of which I have never felt before. It was almost suffocating.
This is also the point I should have realized it was a dream. One of the prison guards was Geordi La Forge, in full Starfleet uniform and sporting the visor. It is rather hilarious and if I were better at lucid dreaming would have figured out at this point that I probably wasn't in jail and didn't need to feel so depressed. But it didn't even register with the dream me.
When I woke up, it took a long time to realize what reality was. The negative feelings hung on for a while and thankfully when I went back to sleep it was dreamless. I wonder how this dream would be interpreted; I am sure jail and depression are covered but I doubt there is a standard interpretation for 24th century Starfleet Lieutenants that are Chief Engineers for the flagship of the Federation.
I don't often remember my dreams. Sometimes I'll go months without recalling any of them and even when I do remember the dreams it is only a few major points and a detail or two. And it was like that for this latest one as well.
The dream started with me in jail and the story up to then was told in flashbacks (like I was in a movie or something). The flashbacks are a little blurry but in them I saw a female friend of mine murder two people (I'm not sure who the friend was but, as often happens in my dreams, I knew it was a friend but I couldn't really see her. Also I have no idea who she killed or why.).
But I was the one in jail and not this person-- although it was for some other crime and I was pretty sure related to the murders. Regardless, I was in jail. This is where the nightmare part comes in-- I knew I could turn this other person in but it wouldn't improve my situation any. I was overcome with a complete helplessness and despair the likes of which I have never felt before. It was almost suffocating.
This is also the point I should have realized it was a dream. One of the prison guards was Geordi La Forge, in full Starfleet uniform and sporting the visor. It is rather hilarious and if I were better at lucid dreaming would have figured out at this point that I probably wasn't in jail and didn't need to feel so depressed. But it didn't even register with the dream me.
When I woke up, it took a long time to realize what reality was. The negative feelings hung on for a while and thankfully when I went back to sleep it was dreamless. I wonder how this dream would be interpreted; I am sure jail and depression are covered but I doubt there is a standard interpretation for 24th century Starfleet Lieutenants that are Chief Engineers for the flagship of the Federation.
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